Perhaps one the hardest things for many of us to do, is to say what we really want to say but are too afraid to say. Why is that? Maybe it’s because we’ve been conditioned to think that we can’t really speak our truth, because this might upset others? So we stuff down our feelings and words which hide within us burrowing their way into our organs and muscles until we are debilitated by them. Our repressed feelings and thoughts become an energy clog which morphs into illness. When this occurs, we seek out a doctor who tells us that the illness we have is due to environmental factors or our genetics, but he never addresses the spiritual component to our illness. This is more often than not, the root cause which has simply not been addressed.
Our habitual inclination to silence our voice continues as we try to fit into society; we keep biting our tongues out of fear of reprisals or rejection by others. There is no happiness in living an inauthentic life, yet many people don’t know how to live any other way.
Almost on a daily basis, I meet someone who is pretending to be happy and hiding their true feelings. Deep down inside many people I encounter are actually in a place of deep suffering. I reach out to them in the hope that the tools I have learned can truly help them find deeper meaning and happiness in their lives. Some of them choose to use these tools, and others don’t. It’s all just a choice in the end.
Just the other day the lovely woman who works for me was very upset, but she’d chosen to silently suffer. I sensed that she wanted help but didn’t want to burden me with her problems. I asked her what was wrong and she burst into tears telling me that she was still broken hearted that her boyfriend of 10 years ago didn’t keep his promise to marry her, and instead married another woman. She was caught in a loop of living in the past, and as hard as I tried to explain in my passable Indonesian that she needed to let go, she just didn’t want to let go of her dream. She chose to cling to the past and her suffering, because she had become so identified with this suffering as being ‘who she is’, that she couldn’t see another possibility.
I explained, “You have two choices: hold on to your past and keep suffering like you are now, or let go and move forward in your life so you can be happy.” She just kept shaking her head and saying, “No, Ibu. I can’t do that. I don’t want to live any more. It hurts too much.”
I could truly empathize with her, as there have been a few times in my own life that my heart was broken and I thought I’d never love again. I wanted to communicate so much to her, but I couldn’t articulate what I really wanted to say, because my Indonesian was only at an intermediate level. I was totally frustrated by my inability to communicate with her properly. I found myself repeating the same statements over and over again, because I didn’t know what else to say. Now as I reflect on that event I realize the irony of life. When I have had the opportunity to communicate with others about how I really feel without any language barriers, I’ve held myself back. Whereas in the situation with Komang I was ready to fully communicate my thoughts and feelings, but I couldn’t because of my poor Indonesian.
When we are able to fully express ourselves with others, this enables us to totally honor ourselves. We can live authentically and feel our own power that is undeniable. I believe that most of the suffering that people experience would be greatly alleviated if they could just say how they are feeling. If you are having a shitty day, say it. Don’t pretend that everything is fine when someone asks you how you’re doing. Or if someone really pisses you off, then tell them what he or she did really made you angry because….
Why are we holding ourselves back? How will not speaking our truth make the challenges that arise in our lives any easier or better? The older I get the more I understand the saying: “The truth will set you free.” This year has presented many challenges for us all. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is not to be afraid to just be me and tell it like it is. I know this means that some people might not like me and that’s the chance I’m willing to take. My clients have been my greatest teachers; they have taught me that no one is worth destroying ourselves for. I have all of me in ways I have never had before. We can have all of who we truly are if we just start choosing for ourselves and stop worrying about what others think of us. So what do you really want to say but have been too afraid to say? Please honor you by speaking your truth.
Michele is a healer, transformational coach, teacher & writer who specializes in transforming people’s lives using a variety of tools. She receives direct transmissions from her guides, enabling her to offer her clients greater clarity about specific life issues and assist them with resolution. She has lived on Bali for more than 10 years & incorporates the indigenous spiritual qualities within her unique healing & coaching practice, providing a transformational healing experience for everyone she encounters www.spiritweaverjourneys.com
Copyright © 2013 Michele Cempaka