A few weeks ago, two of my three closest female friends took their own lives, together. I know much of their inner struggles and understand their reasons, though I wish they had found a more creative way to address their frustrations with physical life and the challenges they had set for themselves.
Somehow, when I heard, I did not feel a great surprise; their energies had been gracefully and steadily withdrawing from my awareness for some time. Apparently at least one of them had been planning this in advance, but very quietly, so as not to be interrupted. While I cannot imagine, personally, wanting to harm or put an end to the joyous cavorting of this body’s cells, the ecstatic dance and vitality that fills this form with life, I do not judge their choice. Still, I grieve for the relatives and partner they left behind who were almost certainly taken by surprise.
Truly, they are not lost to me and others; I feel their presence and friendship still as vividly as I did before. They do not seem gone; they have merely changed form. This leads me to contemplate the exits of others I have been close to, whether through accident or illness. In each case, I either consciously or subliminally sensed their personalities and energies gradually withdrawing in advance of their technical departure.
Perhaps the Jedi masters in Star Wars said it best: Do not grieve for them; celebrate, for they have become one with the Force. It feels as if only a thin veil of frequencies separates my senses from them, and to the inner senses they are as alive now as they have ever been, whether before, during or after embodiment.
Many friends and relatives of friends seem to be passing lately, more than usual. This is an age of change, wherein many may wish to leave or enter through that swinging door, I suppose; but as one who remembers entering this body in a dizzying fall, I plan to honor this form and make the most of this embodiment for as long as it can fruitfully last. There are new horizons ever to be explored, new depths to embrace with senses inner and outer. As the first rays of daylight strike my face, I give thanks for this great adventure.