(Featured artwork courtesy of the author)
If you were to get yourself a piece of paper and a pen (as opposed to using your computer), place it in front of you and ask yourself: “What am I feeling, right now?”
Off the top-of-your-head that might just seem a bit quizzical, or somewhat curious, a little befuddling or outright, “what?!”
Stay with me.
Take a big deep breath in and slowly blow that out . . . . .
Now ask the question again: “What am I feeling?”
And now begin to write your answer.
You may find just from doing that, something arrives and you continue writing… you may even go off on a tangent, or not. Let it be what it is. Notice any resistance and what that speaks of or it may be that you feel relaxed?
Now let’s dive in a little deeper…
After reading what you wrote (and no matter what it sounds like, no judgement, you got something on the paper!) — close your eyes.
Scan your body in your mind’s eye, starting with your feet using the over-arching question: “What am I feeling?”
You can either take your time with this body scan going slowly… or briefly go over the areas of your body. What do you notice? Are there waves of nervousness, excitement, apathy, pain or whatever name that you choose to place on the feelings and where you are feeling these feelings?
You might also pose these questions now: Is this something new or has this been around for a while? For how long? And what else is coming up with this?
For example: Is this around a situation? Or perhaps is it actually about a person?
Explore further through writing out these thoughts and feelings; and then take a few deep breaths and – again – notice your feelings. Ask: “What am I feeling now?”
What this entire therapeutic process does for you can be answered over the next few hours, and even later in the day or evening — and again, over the next day or so. And I would suggest that further writing might help as well: maybe add a line or two about what you have noticed. Of course, you can write as much as you feel driven to expel, on paper.
I’ll stop there.
So, what is the point of this exercise?
It’s touching base with yourself, not through anyone other than your self. And that process initially can be quite confronting and even thought of as a time-waster! Consider yourself and you may find that having a daily conversation (whether it is about setting up a specific time or is random around what you are feeling or going through) OPENS the opportunity for emotional intimacy with yourself.
This isn’t something new, so the process of (writing the, “I don’t know?!”) can be a powerful reminder to a beginning of a sense of renewal with yourself. This invites also a walk in nature after writing — if that’s possible for you in order to ground and therefore take another step further. This creates a little more time to welcome integration and even allow an answer to arise that you may have been looking for. It gives opportunity to that which possibly comes from the grace within.
But I will leave that up to you to explore.
With passion coming from within,